It takes a village to raise a child - the cyberspace ain't no village

There is an old African saying that goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". The meaning behind the saying can only be understood by taking a look at an African village. An African village was made up of close family members. The village set up was such that the family head would offer pieces of land around his homestead to his offspring . The village head/chief or councilor would also be one of the close family members. Hence a child born in any of the homesteads within the village is either a brother, a cousin or a nephew. All adults in the village were related. Family matters could not wait for maternal parents seeing everyone was a close relative. When it came to matters of child upbringing, anyone within the village would always have their best interests for any minor.

Urbanization came and distorted this setup. In pursuit of economic opportunities we are now scattered so far away from our paternal families. I stay in a multi-racial complex. I have seen kids the age of my son, around 10 years publicly smoking in my neighborhood. We are of different nationalities although the majority are from our host country. Whatever values that I hold as a parent, can never be the same with those of my neighbor who hails from a different country. Most of our schools are multi-cultural, multi racial, multi-religious, and so are the teachers that spend most of day hours with our kids. I remember my father telling me that the headmaster at the school where he did his primary education was his father's (my grandfather) best friend; they actually called him uncle. Whilst we relate with our neighbors and community leaders, we are literally strangers to each other and hold different values.

Over and above urbanization we are now in the digital era where the internet rules supreme. We are now connected to strangers 24/7. You can get a solution to any situation through search engines. Someone can give you advice on how to commit suicide - even though they haven't done it themselves. You can belong to online networks and communities where there are faceless friends. Physical relationships are slowly being replaced by online relationships. For any caring parent, if your child has 5000 followers on a particular network and is chatting to hundreds of friends from chat platforms - never mistake the global village for the physical village. The cyberspace is infested with many hazards that you need to be aware of and alert your child about. In the rural village where we grew up, if my parents disciplined me and I went next door to bad mouth them, either I would get a hiding or I would be strongly reprimanded. Online we have seen children calling their parents all sorts of expletives, and you will find some members of the Cyber village encouraging such behavior. Unfortunately the same people who encourage children to do bad things, turn around and use that against them. They might start bullying them or black mail them in one way or another forcing the poor child into compromising decisions. Once emotions are damaged at a tender age, fixing them is very difficult.

Parents can not block their children from accessing the internet as some school requirements demand that. Other schools are going paperless and lessons are conducted using online applications. It is also not possible for parents to be technology masters in order to protect their kids. Some parents may not have the time to go through the child's phone/tablet/laptop and follow up on all conversations to make sure that their child is safe. Denying children access to a phone/tablet/laptop might not be possible. How best can we protect our kids. Carr Snow says, "Technology....is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other." We live in the technology era, it is our responsibility as parents to make sure our kids don't get stabbed at the back. For more information on how to protect your child, or what role you can play for a safer internet environment for children, we invite you to our conference. For more details kindly log into our website
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